This will probably be the most awkward thing I’ve NEVER written lol! I say that because I’ll be keeping it cute… everyone needs a bit of mystery and if ever a line were to be drawn on what warrants an in depth discussion, it may be this sh!t here…. pun somewhat intended haha! So if you can do with a little information about the unmentionable as we review the Tushy Spa 3.0 bidet without getting all.. err.. anal about it, keep reading!
A few years ago I learned about bidets. What are bidets, you ask? They’re like Super Soaker water guns for your rump after a dump. Apparently, they are popular in other countries but not commonplace in the USA.
I finally made up my mind in February to go ahead and purchase one after realizing my septic tank strongly objected to the claim that Cottonelle Wipes are flushable. Apparently when you move into a house & all maintenance falls on you when something breaks, you have to make changes. I was content to hop on Amazon to pay about $30 for a bidet after seeing a post in a Facebook group saying that was the cost. Meanwhile, there I was thinking they costed thousands! I browsed Amazon for awhile then I decided to do some research on how sanitary it could possibly be if it’s shooting from behind you when every human alive knows the “front-to-back” rule.
Well this Google search, led me to the Tushy brand and their FAQs answering that question. I have three words for that entire ass-terpiece of a beautiful website: HILARIOUS AF! The amount of puns they took the time to incorporate into the copy was comedy gold for someone who is as easily amused as me & I rightly cracked(yes, I intentionally used cracked there 😅) tf up!
Also, I love brands that don’t take themselves too seriously by sticking to a strictly vanilla tone. Being no-nonsense has its place, sure… if you’re a lawyer or a President(despite what we’ve witnessed in recent times). But as a person who owns multiple businesses & refuses to play by anyone else’s rules but my own, I’m big on “fun” so I really got my life from the aud-ass-ity of it all! You know how men are always told that if they can make a girl laugh, their chances with her increase exponentially? Same concept here!
Needless to say, I decided against the $30 ones I found on Amazon. I enthusiastically opted to pay a bit more for the temperature controlled Tushy Spa 3.0 bidet. Like honestly, who really wants a freezing cold concentrated steam of water shooting up their backside? I deserved the extra comfort & from what I was seeing on their website, Tushy deserved my business. Hey, I’m a designer so I care about aesthetics, ok?! I can’t stress enough how they really won me over to the point that I started to write in & let them know the effort they put into the overall branding concept was brilliant, educational, effective, entertaining and very much appreciated. I only hoped that I would love the actual bidet as much as I loved their marketing.
Fast forward to last month! I finally opened the package so that my Uncle Guy could install it on my toilet when he came down to do some repairs. More hilarity ensued when I opened the box because the Tushy guys just DID NOT QUIT with the bun puns.. See, I can yap this crap too… oooou I did it again haha! It included an instructional manual entitled “How to Put This Shit Together”. My uncle & I really tripped out laughing at that! It also included a little book to cruise through your bathroom breaks called “This #2 Shall Pass”! Whyyy? Haha!
So getting into the meat of things…
… ok, please forget I used that phrase.. I’m sure you want to know how it performs. It’s LOVELY! It took some getting used to as I’ve been doing things the old fashioned way all my life but now I’m spoiled. I wish I could take it with me everywhere I go.
I was the Cottonelle queen of the porcelain throne, honey! Between their wet wipes & tissue I’m certain they have made a fortune off of me but I use significantly less of both now which is another one of my favorite bidet benefits. Water just makes more sense, right? So being as clean as freshly fallen snow in between showers is obviously the 1st best reason to buy one even if it isn’t from the Tushy lineup. After you figure out the amount of pressure that works best for you, it’s smooth sailing! Just don’t turn it all the way up out the gate like I did!….. ====> O_O
Alright besties, that’s as in depth as I’d like to get about it so I’m about to “flashy-thing” you with the Men In Black memory eraser to forget everything I’ve said EXCEPT that the Tushy Spa 3.0 bidet is indeed a luxury item without the luxury price and once you own one, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it.
Tushy did not compensate me in anyway to write this review. However, I’ll do my best to see if they will give me a code that I can share with you guys then update this post to include it.
To learn about more of my MVP items, check out my favorite things page!
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